No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
