Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Randomize
Follow @tfln