My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My dick has a subreddit
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .