I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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