So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.