dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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