I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
