I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize