sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so that wasnt chicken after all
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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