Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
