he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
