it's not cheating when I paid for it
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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