I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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