I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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