Screwed.edu
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
