There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
