i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize