also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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