Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
