walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
