I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
