worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
