just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
