After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
