y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
there was a trapeze. enough said
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
