I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
