wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
