Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
