she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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