He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
