I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
