brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
