Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
