How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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