He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
