that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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