If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
