D3 body, D1 cock
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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