She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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