his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
