..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
