Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
