She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
