Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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