Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize