road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I supernannyed him into submission
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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