I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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