Only a mothe r could love this liver
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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