We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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