were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
