Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize