umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
