she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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