did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
