I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
