in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I will pee on everything he values.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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