by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
