Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
