yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
