I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
