i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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