I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
