i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
