after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
